Goodbye 2011/ Hello 2012

Finally 2011 is over. The past year was one of lots of emotional turmoil. Lots of family issues that finally are getting resolved. I feel like I spent the year either mad or hurting. My daughter Rachel had a lot to do with this. I was hurt by some of her actions and mad at her because of other actions. My husband Frank didn't help either. I had the same feeling bout him and was beginning to think our marriage wasn't going to last much longer.

Looking forward to 2012. I"m determined to make this a better year personally for me.
I spend my time taking care of everyone else that I tend to forget about myself. I love my family and would do anything for them, but I need to do things for me.
I'm planning on taking a trip to Boston to visit my son Andrew this year. The goal is to go in March....all by myself. Fingers crossed...lol

I am also going to be a grandma this year. My daughter Rachel is pregnant and is due in June. This was not what we had planned for her, but after the year we just went thru with her I wasn't surprised. Even though she is so young I know she'll be a great mother and I am excited to see this next stage of her life. I'm excited to be a grandma too.

Not setting any resolutions for the new year, they are too easily broken. Setting goals for each month instead.

January Goals
Create a budget
Smarter shopping choices
Declutter/clean kitchen and diningroom
20 minutes each day for myself
lose 4 lbs
Enter all receipts and income weekly

That's a start, might add as the month goes along depending on how I'm doing with these.

Happy New Year!!

Checking In

Well I didn't get to do the 30 Photo and Prompt challenge. So much was happening the past several weeks in my family that I kinda slipped in a depression slump and didn't feel like doing anything until I pulled myself out of it. Thought things were going better, but now not so sure as we have to deal with family issues once again. Anyway I'm going to try to blog regularly once again. I always feel better when I can write(type) my feelings and thoughts.

Photo & Prompt Challenge: Day 2

The people that make my world go round

My kids

My husband

Photo & Prompt Challenge, Day 1

I've been looking for something to motivate me to start blogging again. So when I saw this challenge on a friends blog I knew this was for me. It's gravy,baby has issued a 31 day photo and prompt challenge and I've chosen to accept it. Every day during March, she’ll post a prompt and I'll answer it either with a photo, a story, or both.

Today's challenge: Post a picture of myself and post 10 facts.

1. My birthday is September 2. I'm 43 yrs old.

2. I'm a native Arizonan. I've lived in Arizona my whole life.

3. I have 6 children -- ages..20, 17, 12, 10, 3 and 4 months

4. I've been married for 19 yrs. Our anniversary is May 31.

5. I am a very big procrastinator, but once I set my mind to doing
something I'll work at it until I'm finished with the task.

6. I would love to have my home cleaned and organized. Who wouldn't,
right? My main problem is procrastinating, 2nd problem is we have
way too much stuff. I do belong to a housecleaning group who gets
together daily to work on cleaning our homes thru chat. Only
problem is I haven't been in chat with my friends consistently in
quite awhile. Due to not having time and computer problems. I
really miss everyone and need to make more of an effort to work
with them again.

7. A family goal this year is to hike the Grand Canyon from north rim to
south rim. We planned on doing this last October, then I found out the
only thing I was going to do in Oct was have a baby. Hopefully this
year we'll make the trip.

8. I play the clarinet. I learned to play in 4th grade and played all the way
thru school until I graduated. Band was always my favorite subject in school.

9. I'm a very loyal and trusting person. I'm a great listener and can be a very
good friend.

10. I would love to travel. I always tell my kids I'm going to move them to
different parts of the US so my dh and I can travel to visit them. Our oldest
son moved to Boston almost 2 yrs ago.

Surprise!!!

First of all let me write that Frank and I just celebrated our 19th wedding anniversary on May 31. We didn't really do anything romantically special, but we did spend the day with the kids, lounging around and having great family time. The best gift he could give me is to let me catch up on rest and take care of the kids. Which is exactly what Frank did. Although I may grumble about him, I love Frank so very much.

Now on to my surprise. Well a couple of weeks ago I had blood work done, which came back saying that I'm pregnant. Surprise enough right? The girl at Dr Jochim's office said I was about 4 weeks pregnant. Which would put me about 6 weeks pregnant today.

I went to the doctor today for an exam and he told me I'm a little more than 6 weeks pregnant.....I am 19 weeks, 2 days pregnant!!! Also I found out I'm having a girl. My due date is Oct 25, not Jan 27 like I was thinking.

My last period was in Jan. I took a pregnancy test which was faintly positive, but not really enough to say for sure. I took another test a few weeks later and that one showed negative. So I thought I wasn't pregnant, but just thought my period was being irregular like in the past. I kept thinking of calling the dr's office, but kept putting it off. I didn't feel pregnant, but I realize now that I kind of thought I was pregnant. I even had a dream that my baby is a girl. So when Dr Jochim asked if I wanted to know what I'm having I already knew he'd tell me a girl.

It hasn't been until the past 3 weeks that I've started feeling pregnant. I've had morning sickness, my breasts are tender, I'm extremely tired, and my clothes are fitting snug. I know at 6 wks pregnant my clothes shouldn't be so snug, but I figured with 5 kids and this being my 9th pregnancy I probably am showing alot sooner.

He said everything is looking good, but now I'm worried of course since I had no idea I was this far along.

I called Frank to let him know. He's shocked of course. He was just getting used to the idea of me being pregnant. This really threw him for a loop...big time...LOL.
We had been planning on hiking the Grand Canyon this October, but it doesn't look like I'm going now.

I haven't told the kids yet and don't know when to tell them. I'm not sure how they are going to feel about it. About a month ago Rachel mentioned no more babies....well SURPRISE!!!

To Do Tuesday

On my list today:

Laundry
Kitchen -- dishes, counters, stove top, cabinet doors, washer and dryer, sweep and mop
Dining room - clear/clean/polish table, declutter counter space, clear one cabinet
Master bedroom -- strip bed, clean sheets and blankets, room rumble
Boys bedroom -- Strip beds, clean sheets and blankets
Desk stuff -- input receipts in spreadsheet, file receipts, balance checkbook

Wish me luck.

Starting Over

Well so much for staying up to date with my blog. Life got so busy with my new job and H&R Block, delivering newspapers, dealing with kids and finding time to spend with Frank. It got so crazy that I found myself just finding time to catch up in sleep.
I was coming home from delivering papers to get kids up for school and sleeping for an hour, then taking kids to school and driving to Flagstaff to work all day. I would come home and hardly have any time with my family before falling into bed exhausted
and trying to sleep a couple of hours before it all started again.

I knew I had to make some decisions about work when one day I mentioned to Rebekah that she would have to take care of Jadon until Rachel got out of work. Rebekah started to cry, which made me feel bad. Jadon can be such a handful at times and I know it stresses her to watch him. Also having Matthew home at the same time, I know it's not easy. On another day Matthew told me he wished I didn't have to be gone all day. The kicker though was one day getting up to leave for work and Jadon was still sleeping. When I came home that night, he was back in bed, sound asleep. I left the next day and he was sleeping. I came home that night and you guessed it...he was asleep. I didn't get to see him until the next day only because I didn't have to work. But I was the one who needed to sleep.

I love spending time with my kids and not being able to interact with them like I use to has been real hard for me. I knew it was going to be hard on everyone when I took the job with H&R Block, but I didn't think I'd have such a hard time.

So I made the decision to leave H&R Block. I enjoyed working for them, but I'm need here at home. I need to be with my husband and kids also. They are my driving force, what keeps me going. Also my house was becoming such a mess....lol I couldn't handle how unorganized and dirty my house was becoming. I never had time to spend with my family, clean my house, cook meals, have computer time, read, or anything...it was all about work and sleep.

I am still delivering newspapers, but that's during the wee hours of the day and I'm home for the kids. You may ask why I didn't give up the newspapers and stay with H&R Block. Well the job with H&R Block is only seasonal during tax season, where as delivering papers is ongoing.

I believe I made the best decision for myself and my family. The kids are much happier, I'm much happier. Not sure about Frank though because he doesn't like all the miles I put in the van delivering papers, but I figure if I only kept the job in Flagstaff I would be putting the same amount of mile on the van anyway. I'm sure he is or he will be happy with my decision once he sees how much happier we all are.

I can always take more classes with H&R Block in the fall and reapply with the company, but hopefully get hired closer to home.

So now I need to start organizing/cleaning my home, keeping my blog updated, and enjoy being with my family.

I truly believe I'm suppose to be home and this really feels like I'm starting over.